Babbling like always

Well it is once again that time. Time to fill you in on how life is going in my crazy little world here.

Things are good. Cade just turned 1!! Yeah I am a little sad. He is getting so big so fast. What is a mommy to do? Can't keep um little forever. He isn't walking yet. He will walk around things and from daddy to me when he is in the mood but mostly he just crawls everywhere. After seeing how much Auntie Colette runs after Hailey I am not in a rush to hurry this along. He currently weighs 23lbs 11oz and is 31 in tall. Dr said he is a perfectly  healthy boy. Mommy says she thinks he is going to be a very cute, very charming little terror.

Colten is doing awesome. He just got his report card and got A's on everything except math. He got a D in that one. Not because he doesn't know how to do it cause he is a whiz at math. It's cause he doesn't turn in his homework. I think he thinks he is too cool to do homework. Sounds like his daddy. He says he wants to play football. Since Auntie Brandie has gotten back and football has started he has turned in to a Dallas freak. Auntie is proud. lol

Katie bug has gotten in to sports as well. She likes watching them on tv (again with Auntie Brandie.) Her favorite team is the "Bumble Bee's". (In case your wondering that wouls be the Steelers). She says they look like bumble bees. Who can argue with her on that one. lol She too is doing exceptional in kindergarten. She got all good grades too and knows almost everything she is supposed to. She currently has a crush on a cute little boy from school. His name is Noah. Daddy says Noah can't be her boyfriend but a friend that is a boy. Katie say's "but he is nice daddy". I think it's cute. (Don't you Christina? lol)  The only down fall is I have to hear about Noah everyday. Today it was "Mommy Noah got new shoes" I have a feeling it's only gonna get worse as she gets older. lol

As for Pookie and I, well, we are doing good. I am still trying to get my classes done and he is still whining cause he just turned 28. Boo freaking hoo I say. We are doing good and are still drama free. It's amazing how removing certain people from your life also removes their drama. Who would have thought.

Ok I am getting sleepy. I have alot to do tomorrow and with the help of my bestest friend in the world I just may get it done. (Now you really have to help me Colette)

Nighty night peeps

It's quiet...

Hey all! Just thought I would write a few lines since it's quiet and I have a little free time to myself.

Things are going good. I am working my way through my online classes and surprisingly I am doing well. My least favorite is the math class but then again I never was a math whiz. I am still holding a B so I guess i am not that bad. I am holding on to an A in both Psychology and Sociology. Woohoo for me!!!!

I am still missing my auntie! :( Not a single day goes by that I don't think about the Bitch-head!!! I can't wait until I get to see her so I can hit her. I am not the only one that misses them by the way. About 3 weeks ago I get a phone call from Katies teacher. she said that Buggy just started crying for no reason and when she asked her what was wrong Katie told her she missed her cousin Sabrina. When her teacher asked why she thought of her all of a sudden Buggy said "cause you were putting on her lotion". I guess the teacher was putting lotion on and it happened to be warm vanilla sugar which also just so happens to be Bees signature scent. Awww poor buggy. Poor me too cause I had to cry all over again. Do you see why I need to hit my auntie???

The boys are doing good. Colten is going through his smart mouth stage. Does this ever end??? Boy I tell you if I would give in to every urge I have to just smack him he would be one abused child lol. The best part is he doesn't even think what he is doing is wrong.. You gotta love him. As much as he is a pain when he is being rude he is also a godsend when he is not. He is the best when it comes to baby Cade. If Cade is having a bad day and being grumpy all it takes is Bubba to make him smile. When we drop them off at school in the morning Cade crys when Bubba gets out but when we pick him up its all smiles. I am thankful that all in all I have good kids..... (when they are actually being good) lol

Randy is doing good. His job sucks right about now but we will get through it as usual. What is that saying... "Such is life"?? Yep thats my motto SUCH IS LIFE....With out all the drama of everyday life it would just be worthless!!!

Enough for tonight since I should really be doing homework.... I love ya all and I hope everyone is doing well!!!!

Just an update

Ok so I had a long day and I am tired but cant fall asleep...So I figured I would blog alittle...
Thing are good. Pretty good actually. Today is a special day.. Today Randy and I have been together for 11 years. I know, I know, that is a super long time. Crazy huh. I can't believe how fast time goes. We have been doing good. I only want to beat him 77% of the time instead of the usual 100%. lol j/k. What can I say, gotta love him!!!

The kids are doing good. Boo and Buggy are doing the summer reading program at the library with Steph. That means, if mommy is a good mommy, at least one trip a week for new books and to collect their prizes. It also means they get to see Steph and Hailey more. (and I get some quality time with Colette) :) It' s a good deal all around. 

Colten is doing SO awesome with his reading and is actually excited to go back to school and read his AR books. I am so proud of him!!!  He has come along way but I think he is going to do so much better with everything this year. His newest thing is he needs quiet time. Which of course means time away from his sister. He says he is reading but I know he is really watching cartoons. Poor boy just has to have a few hours away from Katie....   ;)

Katie is pretty excited about starting school. I thought she would be a little sad about leaving me all day but nope. Not Katie!! Go figure. She too, is working on her letters and numbers and is excited cause she can spell the name of her favorite place to eat. KFC..... She says you spell it "K.F.C. mommy". Colten and I just laugh and let her think she is really as cool as she believes she is. She has turned into little miss bossy lately. Mommy do this now. I say "just one minute katie" in which she replies "a minute takes an hour, do it now......please". I have to try so hard not to beat her lol She is soo freaking cute but such a brat.... Yep thats my Buggy.

 Cade is getting big. I had to take him in to the dr the other day cause he wont stop chewing on his finger and its all chapped and red. They gave me a cream to put on it and said "keep it out of his mouth" Well DUH you idiot. I try my hardest and dont you think if was working I wouldn't be sitting here. The thing is I do everything to prevent him from putting it in his mouth but the little booger finds a way around everything I do. I put mittens on, he takes them off. I put bandaids on it, he chews them off (even the water proof ones) I wrap his hand up and he just sucks on whatever I wrap it with until it is soaked and rubs against his finger anyways.. The only thing I haven't done is splint his arm. I think that is so mean but we just might have to. The cream is working so hopefully it will get better and he will cut these stupid teeth and stop chewing his fingers off. lol He still isn't crawling. He rolls everywhere though. I guess he thinks he can get to where he wants by rolling so why crawl. He is talking though. He says Bye, Baba, bubu, hi, hey and his newest word, unfortunately is DADA. Darn!!! lol And those of you that know my husband know that he is not letting me forget that he said DADA before MAMA..... 

We have all been super busy lately helping Auntie Brandie and Uncle Edward to get settled in their new house. This new house is a favorite cause it has a pool so as you can guess we have been there alot in the last few days... Mommy paints and the kids play in the pool. :) I am just happy that they are back!!

As for me...hmmm. Well I am working on going back to school in Aug. I want to be an RN and I need to get my crap together and get it done. I am also trying to talk my husband in to moving....Anywhere but here. It is not as hard as I thought it would be. :) Who know how things will work out but I can say that change is comming!!! And its going to be good

What else?? Oh I have been a little sad today. Sat is Bevs birthday. She would have been 24. I miss her and thinking about her makes me sad. It also makes me remember that things and people can be taken from us in just a blink of an eye. So unexpectedly. It makes me want to hold, hug, kiss those close to me and let them know I love them.... Death sucks and unfortunatly it has been happening ALOT in the last 2 years to people we know and love. I guess its apart of life but when that life is cut off so early I can't help but wonder the purpose!!! 

I think I am done blabbing about anything and everything.... Love you guys!!!!

My thoughts...

Current mood:hopeful

At night is usually the only time I get to myself, and usually when I do all my thinking. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING goes through my head. Here is just a little of what I am thinking about tonight:

The last four months have been really hard on me. Maybe the worst I have had in a very long time. I am not going to get into everything but trust me when I say it's been bad. I have had to deal with alot. When someone is put in situations such as those I have been in recently there tends to be so many emotions that comes with it. I am no exception. Sadness, anger, guilt, depression, fury, shame and everything in between. This has been my life lately. It sucks and I want it to be over.

Recently I was speaking to a friend seeking advice on how to let go of the things. Things that I had no control of but that completly turned my life upside down. This person (you know who you are) told me that I needed to think about what I wanted. Put me first. Sift through all the anger and hurt and figure out how I really feel. Figure out what was good for me. I thought and I thought and I did it. I figured it out.... I am in love. Whats more important then that? Because of this I am forced to make decisions. Although I suck at making decisions on my own (especially really big, life changing ones) I cowgirled up and I did my best.

I believe we are always being tested. Maybe this is supposed to be some kind of test for me. What doesn't kill you is supposed to make you stronger right??!!??  It hurts like hell dont get me wrong but it made me realize something. I am truly lucky. I have 3 beautiful, healthy children, nice things, a few really good friends and family that I know will be there for me no matter what. AND most importantly I have love. Despite all the crap I honestly believe I am loved. That is more then alot of people have. So I have decided to be positive. I have decided to look at things on the bright side. It could be worse. (I could be in jail for murder :) hehe just kidding)

I believe in Karma and I am banking on it coming back and biting certain people in the butt.. Until then I am choosing to be happy and thankful for what I have. I am going to take it one day at a time and put my faith in my husband and our relationship. The worse that can happen is I will end up at the bottom again and if I can get over it once you bet your butt I can do it again. (and I will be stronger! Which will be a good thing cause I will need all the strength I can get to keep me safe in jail if this situation should ever occur again!!!) 

Pray with me

Current mood:sympathetic

I have a lot on my mind tonight. Most of you on here know me pretty well. And you know that I am not the type of person that shoves my beliefs down your throat. That is just not who I am. So most of you are going to read this because a subject line like this is not something I would normally write about on myspace. Thats good. I want everyone to read this because I need a little help. 

As I have said many times before I believe in God and the Bible and the power of Prayer. I may not go to church as much as people think I should and I may not act "properly" according to some peoples standards. But thats ok because I don't live by other peoples standards. I live by what I believe is right and wrong and what is in my heart. And even though I am not at the place I know I need to be right now I know that when I pray my God listens. 

With that said I am going to ask anyone who will to help me pray. My husband and I have a friend who has had a really rough time lately. By rough I mean like 4 major surgeries in the last 8 months, one of which he had to be brought back to life twice. To make matter's worse the dr informed him that he has Alzhiemer's. In his own words in 4 to 5 years he wont know anything. Or anyone. 

This just breaks my heart. This man and his wife are truly the sweetest people I have ever met. I know that this is a struggle for them not only mentally but emotionally and financially as well. I dont think it is to much to ask to maybe pray for peace and wellbeing for them. As a wife I can not imagine going through the next few years just dreading the day when you wake up next to the man you have been married to for the last 50 years only to discover that he has no clue who you are or anything of the life you had together. 

I would really appreiciate it if the next time you pray if you could maybe slip something in there for our friends. His name is Rudy and his wife's name is Bonnie.. 

Thanks guys....   :)

Bored and feel like gripping

So I am sitting here really really bored and I decided that I would write a little. Things suck but I think thats just because I am in a really bad mood today. It could have something to do with my husbands "new" job. For those who dont already know there is no more Jade Grading.. They went Bye Bye. Its now Gateway Crushing and Recycling. Can’t say I am sad though. Jade was starting to suck. I can say that I am not happy because Pookie just informed me that this crushing thing can mean that he has to travel... Like go to Indiana for 4 weeks for training... Dude we have not been apart for more then a week in the whole 11 years we have been together... What the heck am I gonna do for 4 weeks????? He also said that they might have crushing jobs that are out of town in the future.... I dont like that...Yeah I am needy I know but damn I have 3 kids and they are a handful.... 

What else can i gripe about...Oh yeah I think I am getting sick...AGAIN.... Just my luck huh..... Oh Cade just woke up and thay means my time is up............. 

Til next time

Fake friends

Current mood:cooky/wacky

People often ask me why I dont have more friends? I am fun and outgoing they say. I am a kindhearted person that will usually do anything for anyone in need. This is true. I am all of the above. This makes me vulnerable. It makes me opened to get screwed. It makes me hate fake people. 

So my answer to this question is pretty simple. 

PEOPLE ARE FAKE!!!! 

I have people that I talk to and people that I occasionally associate with. And that is nice but I dont let them in. not really. I also have those few rare friends that I know I can count on to never let me down. These are my friends. (People I can leave alone with my husband and not worry if they are trying to get in to his pants) ~i am still a little bitter so i had to add that~lol People that I can trust and that I love and respect. People that show me a the same trust, love and respect. 

So to these few people and you know who you are...Thank you!! Thank you for being there when I need you and even when I dont. For everyone else dont be fake. Be who you are and be proud. And for all of those people who are out there who are just like me I say we all get together and kick everyones ass that we thought were friends but really screwed us in the end... Whos with me..... LMAO

Love you lots

Just life

Current mood:bored

Things are going well. All the drama has passed, thank God. Things are finally settled down and are peaceful. I have decided, as usual, to be the bigger person. Forgive I can do but I doubt I will ever forget!! All in all i am over it...

Now for more important things. My kids are doing well. Colten is doing much better is school although reading is still a struggle I see him making progress. I am so absoultly saddend by the fact that my baby is going to be 9 in a month and a half. He is so smart and witty. Which is good unless he is using his wit to talk back which at these time makes me want to beat him to death.. 

As for our little princess katie she is well...she is a princess. In every sense of the word. She is a drama queen and she knows what she wants and just how to get it... Go to daddy when mommy says no. I swear that is her motto. She is very strong minded and doesnt like to be told no. She reminds me of her aunt brandie. lol She is doing well and she is mommys little helper (when she wants to be). All I can say is I feel sorry for her teacher when she starts school in Aug.. lol   

And finally we have baby Cade. He is gettng so big. He just started eating baby food this week and is doing well. I think he is getting fatter everyday. lol he is also rolling over and putting things in his mouth... He is growing up and is makes me sad...

As for my pookie. Well he is working his butt off and it sucks. We miss him lots and I know he misses us too. Hopefully things will get better soon. Ok enough for now. I can tell by Cades crys that it is time to stop playing on the computer now 

Duty calls... lots of love  

A sad situation

Current mood:crushed

When you put everything you have...your heart and soul into something/someone and you trust them to guard it and keep it whole and they turn around and hand it back to you in a million little pieces what are you supposed to do?

How do you react to that? 

How do you pick up and move forward?

How do you ever trust again? 

Love again??? 

The sad thing is this person that has destroyed everything for you is usually the person you love the most and even though this horrible thing has happened its still there. Your love for them is still there. You still want them and sadly you still need them... Where do you go from there????


I care too much and that usually makes me vulnerable. Just once I wish I cauld find that one person that I can give my heart and know that with out a doubt it is safe. Does such a person exisit??? Where do i find them and how do i keep them??? How do I make it better? How do I make the hurt go away?????