The Struggle is Real....

Is it Friday and, hopefully, by now y'all know what that means. Today's prompt word is: Real.


Go:


I hope you are ready for some randomness because anyone who knows me well or, who reads these posts, will be able to tell you that I am the epitome of random! For example, I opened this screen about an hour and a half ago with the intentions of busting my five minutes out and getting to some other things on my to do list. I started with the title "I'm Real". Well, that immediately reminded me of the song by J. Lo and of course I had to YouTube it. We know how dangerous YouTube can be, hence the reason I am returning here with absolutely no idea of where I was going with this post initially....Yep, totally random! So with that being said, other than a song from my past, I don't really have anything..... So let's talk about my life this week. 

I look back on my planner and it's so full but I don't feel like I really did anything. Nothing really productive anyways. Yes, we have baseball and softball practice, PTA duties and open house at the middle boys school, grocery shopping and helping a neighbor out. I was down with a massive migraine and felt like I was dying on Tuesday. Just our typical, crazy, beautiful routine. The highlight of my week is by far my Wednesday nights. This is the one night a week that I get to do something I really enjoy. 

You see, we have church on Wednesday nights and I help teach a preschool class. I love my Wednesday night kids (most are also my Sunday morning kids) and the teachers I work with. I love planning out our art project helping the kids create it. I love our song time and the funny moments that come with watching the teachers do all the movements that go with those songs. I love the nostalgic feeling I get when we sing a song that I was taught at their age. It's the one day of the week that seems easy for me. Where I don't have to stress about paying the bills, running kids everywhere, or the horrible mess my house is currently in. I just focus on the kids that are before me and helping them learn and grow in the Lord. Don't get me wrong, sometimes that's not an easy job. Sometimes it's quite hard in fact. However, the hugs and I love you's and the proud smiles they get when they have openly prayed for their snack for the first time makes it all worth it. It takes my mind off the real world for awhile and allows me to focus of the simpler things. I think that's what I love the most. 

I feel like I need to start focusing on those simple things outside of my Wednesday nights as well. I know the heavy stuff in life usually consumes us all but there has got to be a way to not let ourselves become so overwhelmed with it that we lose the focus on what is really important. The little things should be just as prominent as the big ones, right?

I know I am not the only one out here that feels this way. What do you do to savor the simple things in life? How do you keep from letting the heavy coat of responsibility overtake and consume the joy of the simple things? I would love to hear your feedback! 

Stop.

***As always, I am linking up with Kate Motaung and the others to write unedited for five minutes straight on a given prompt. To find out more visit this link: Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday: Plan

Once again the time has come to hook up with Kate Motaung and a great group of bloggers and write unedited for five minutes. This weeks prompt word is: PLAN. 

Go. 

Oh my goodness!!! Let me tell you how stinking excited I am about this weeks prompt word!!! Yes, God is defianately trying to tell me something.... 

Planning is one of my "happy" vises. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I am in control of something somewhere. I am not sure how to explain it adequately except to say that when I have a plan I feel better. 

Those who know me I am a planner. I like lists. I like to write it all down and I like to check it off. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. I also like to know what lies ahead of me and what to expect. If I have a plan then I don't have as much anxiety about the what-if's. That being said, I have found that most of the time my dearly beloved plans usually go out the window once thing get started. No matter how intentional I was when I planned it. 

This is, in part, my husbands fault. (Yes, I just went there. I totally laid the blame on a man who will probably never read this post and be able to defend himself. Oops!) You see, my amazing husband is the absolute opposite of me when it comes to planning. He is more of a fly by the seat of his pants type. If a thought pops into his head or a certain mood hits he doesn't think twice about breaking my ️said plans to go with the latter. (Yes, this does make us come off as pretty flakey people sometimes.) Over the years I realized that it's easier to just throw my plans out and follow his lead. It saves me a lot of time and definitely a lot of headache. 

Don't get me wrong, I am not the submissive type. It's hard to relinquish control sometimes and more often than not my stubborn streak comes out and, well, it's not pretty. But in the end I usually conceded and we do what he wants. I like peace. I just have to come to it the hard way I guess. 

I have also learned that my relationship with God is the same way. I make all these plans, jump in to all these commitments, thinking I know what's best for my life. After-all it is my life right? I know how I want to live it! I even wrote it down with pretty markers in my beloved planner so now it HAS to happen..Right?

Wrong!! Oh so very wrong! 

That's where I find myself in this stage of my life. Realizing that my thought process with what I am doing with my life may be wrong. My PLANS may not be what God wants to happen.

 I feel like in certain areas of my life I have been planning and trying really hard to make it work because it's what I want. It's what I have planned. I feel like God is doing exactly what my husband does to me. He is throwing a hand up and saying, "Nope, I think you should be doing this my way!"

WHAT?! No, God, that's not what I want to do! That's not what is written down. That is not what I planned! *insert pouty face, arms crossed, stubborn streak I mentionedabove here.* 

There are some key words in there. I and Planned. 

I say that I pray about things before I do them. I say that I want Gods blessing before jumping into something new. But do I really? Am I seeking whole heartedly what the Lord wants me to do? Or am I simply going through the motions of it and doing what I want anyway? 

These are the questions that have been really heavy on my heart for the last two weeks and to be quite honest with you friends, I don't like what the answer has been. 

I know that I need to really work paying more attention to His direction and less attention on fulfilling my wants and desires. I know I need to focus on listening to that still small voice even if the answer doesn't align with what I have already planned out. Because, despite my stubborn and sometimes selfish tendencies to live my life the way I see fit, I know that He already has my plan written down for me. And I know that His plan is far better than anything I could ever come up with on my own. 

Stop. 

If you would like to link up with us and share you five minutes click the link located above. Thanks for taking the time to experience a little bit of what's in my head. 

Love and Blessings, 

FMF: Gather

Yep, it's Friday!! Today's prompt word: GATHER.......

GO.

I have realized that I need to take a moment and gather my thoughts. As I sit here to write, pondering what this word means and how it pertains to my life, I become assaulted with a plethora of thoughts and directions where this can go. So many different things all at once just piling up in my head. I feel like I need to grab a notebook and a pen and take notes. Then another realization slams into my head:

Typical Amber, always overwhelmed with everything! Always too much of too many things. 

This is my life lately. I feel like I have so many different things going on and I am committed to so much that it is literally overtaking my life AND my brain! Between the kids stuff, school, hobbies, church, my little Thirty-One business, and the personal responsibilities of being a wife, mom, and homemaker, I lose count of what I am supposed to do and when! It seems like my brain is ALWAYS ON and never shuts down! I always have something to do and somewhere to be. It's overwhelming. 

Don't get me wrong. I know that I am not the only mother of four that has ever felt overwhelmed by her life and responsibilities. But lately I have been thinking and praying about ways to make it all work with out losing my mind. I thoroughly enjoy all the stuff I listed above and I want to continue to do them. I just don't want to feel like I am overwhelmed and drowning in it all. And I don't want to give up all the other important stuff like my quiet time with God and my bible. Or actually being PRESENT, body AND mind, with my children during our time together instead of thinking of the million little sticky notes on my desk or in my planner that hold all the things I am supposed to do. 

I need to gather all of these things that fill up my life and prioritize them! I need to find a good balance to make it all work the way it's supposed to. Most importantly I need to know my limits and say no when presented with yet another opportunity to stretch myself a little more. I need to accept that I have an obsessive personality and can easily become consumed with one thing which, in turn, throws everything else to the sidelines leaving me scrabbling to catch up. 

STOP.

Five minutes is just not long enough I tell ya!! I could have probably gone on for at least another half hour. (perfect example of being obsessive) HAHA

**If you would like to link up with the awesome group of bloggers and participate in Five Minute Friday's like I have just done or you simply want to see what it's all about, head on over to Kate Motaung blog and check it out!