Five Minute Friday: Plan

Once again the time has come to hook up with Kate Motaung and a great group of bloggers and write unedited for five minutes. This weeks prompt word is: PLAN. 

Go. 

Oh my goodness!!! Let me tell you how stinking excited I am about this weeks prompt word!!! Yes, God is defianately trying to tell me something.... 

Planning is one of my "happy" vises. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I am in control of something somewhere. I am not sure how to explain it adequately except to say that when I have a plan I feel better. 

Those who know me I am a planner. I like lists. I like to write it all down and I like to check it off. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. I also like to know what lies ahead of me and what to expect. If I have a plan then I don't have as much anxiety about the what-if's. That being said, I have found that most of the time my dearly beloved plans usually go out the window once thing get started. No matter how intentional I was when I planned it. 

This is, in part, my husbands fault. (Yes, I just went there. I totally laid the blame on a man who will probably never read this post and be able to defend himself. Oops!) You see, my amazing husband is the absolute opposite of me when it comes to planning. He is more of a fly by the seat of his pants type. If a thought pops into his head or a certain mood hits he doesn't think twice about breaking my ️said plans to go with the latter. (Yes, this does make us come off as pretty flakey people sometimes.) Over the years I realized that it's easier to just throw my plans out and follow his lead. It saves me a lot of time and definitely a lot of headache. 

Don't get me wrong, I am not the submissive type. It's hard to relinquish control sometimes and more often than not my stubborn streak comes out and, well, it's not pretty. But in the end I usually conceded and we do what he wants. I like peace. I just have to come to it the hard way I guess. 

I have also learned that my relationship with God is the same way. I make all these plans, jump in to all these commitments, thinking I know what's best for my life. After-all it is my life right? I know how I want to live it! I even wrote it down with pretty markers in my beloved planner so now it HAS to happen..Right?

Wrong!! Oh so very wrong! 

That's where I find myself in this stage of my life. Realizing that my thought process with what I am doing with my life may be wrong. My PLANS may not be what God wants to happen.

 I feel like in certain areas of my life I have been planning and trying really hard to make it work because it's what I want. It's what I have planned. I feel like God is doing exactly what my husband does to me. He is throwing a hand up and saying, "Nope, I think you should be doing this my way!"

WHAT?! No, God, that's not what I want to do! That's not what is written down. That is not what I planned! *insert pouty face, arms crossed, stubborn streak I mentionedabove here.* 

There are some key words in there. I and Planned. 

I say that I pray about things before I do them. I say that I want Gods blessing before jumping into something new. But do I really? Am I seeking whole heartedly what the Lord wants me to do? Or am I simply going through the motions of it and doing what I want anyway? 

These are the questions that have been really heavy on my heart for the last two weeks and to be quite honest with you friends, I don't like what the answer has been. 

I know that I need to really work paying more attention to His direction and less attention on fulfilling my wants and desires. I know I need to focus on listening to that still small voice even if the answer doesn't align with what I have already planned out. Because, despite my stubborn and sometimes selfish tendencies to live my life the way I see fit, I know that He already has my plan written down for me. And I know that His plan is far better than anything I could ever come up with on my own. 

Stop. 

If you would like to link up with us and share you five minutes click the link located above. Thanks for taking the time to experience a little bit of what's in my head. 

Love and Blessings,