Sunday, February 22, 2015

A Week Of Nothing....

All good things must come to an end, so they say. If I could have it my way I would announce that all things that are good should remain the same and last forever! 

This past week was SO good! My husband was on vacation and having him home was AWESOME! 

We did nothing! Absolutely nothing! And it was fabulous! I know he is ready to get back to work- that's just him, always has to do something- but I can't begin to explain to you how good it was to just have him here. 

Normally he works 60-70+ hours a week. As you could imagine those kind of work hours leave little time for him to be involved the way he would like to be. It stinks but we are all praying for the day when that can change. (And it will change! God has a plan, I am sure of it!) Until then we will have to make the most out of the time we do have. Just like we did this week. 

Normally "vacation" means going somewhere. Not this time. We just hung out all weekend but it was exactly what we needed. I think the best part was just having Randy here. His presence, and his help, is something I didn't even realize I missed so much until this week. Another thing I didn't realize is how much HE missed being here! 

God really opened my eyes this week. He showed me that it's not only us (the kids and I) that are missing out when Daddy works such long crazy hours. He is missing out too. I guess I have been too focused on all of the ways we are affected by it to really give much thought to how he feels about it. This realization makes me feel sad and selfish. I saw a joy that I didn't know was missing in my husbands eyes while he did the little things with the kids. The exact same little things I complain about having to do every single day! While I am complaining he is missing out. Such a sad thought. 

The kids also loved having him home. Katie insisted on dad picking her up everyday from school. Waylon and Caden were stuck to his side like glue and jumped at the opportunity to help out whenever the need arose. (Mommy was suddenly chopped liver! Haha) Even Colten, who is too cool for his parents these days, made more of an effort to be involved in family time. I loved it! 

I know that he has to work so hard to provide for us. I know that, as blissful as this week was, it can't always be like this. But I think we have both decided that we need to do whatever we can to find a better balance than what we have previously had. We need to nail down a reasonable budget and stick to it so we won't have to be so dependent upon his overtime to pay the bills. That way he isn't having to kill himself to make ends meet. We also need to make better use of the time we do have together. Save the arguments or "grown up issues" for another time and just be together with our focus on each other and the kids. I know it's easier said than done but we are really committed to trying. 

For now we are just going to focus on each other and cherish every moment we have. 

* I would love suggestions and tips on how you all make your household run smoothly. What are some ways you make time for your family? Please feel free to share in the comments section below. :-)

Friday, February 20, 2015

Jumping Back In

It's been awhile since I have joined the amazing community of bloggers over at Five Minute Friday. I forgot home much I have missed it and I am excited to jump back in here.  Today's word is OPEN. Let's see what I can come up with for that....

When I think of the word OPEN the first thing that I think of is a store or a place of business. My mind wanders to a funny moment of me sitting in my car outside of Michael's waiting for them open. Yes, I am that addicted to my hobby. Haha (more about that in a future post) I am absolutely picturing the lady with her face squished against the glass while she taps on the window saying, "Open, open, open!" Yeah, that's the first place my mind goes when I here our prompt word. 

I am telling ya friends, my brain is the epitome of random! 

However, once I let myself ponder on it for a few, "open" takes on a deeper meaning for me. It makes me think about how I need to be more open to change. I need to be more accepting and embrace the changes that need to happen in my life and stop fighting them. To pinpoint it even more, I need to be more open to what God has planned for me.

Why does it seem like I have to do everything the hard way? My way? It isn't until I look back that I realize if I had just relinquished control and allowed God to work in my life that I would have saved myself a whole lot of trouble. It's my instinct to immediately go into panic mode and try to "figure out" what to do and how to fix whatever mess has presented itself to me at the moment. I don't want it to be that way. I want to be able to stay calm and trust that God is working on it. Trust that He has a plan and that He is in control. 

The last couple months I have felt overwhelmed by the things that have been happening in my life and with my children. I have felt beat down and at some points completely broken. It has been one thing after another consistently for the last two months. I don't even want to answer my phone anymore because I don't want to hear the bad news on the other end! I just want to scream "why God? How do I fix this? How do I make it all go away or get better?"

I can't. 

I have tried doing it alone, my way. I really have. Once again, I am failing at doing it alone. I think the lesson in all of this is I CAN NOT DO IT ALONE! 

I need to open my heart and my mind and LISTEN to God. I need to pray harder for guidance and wisdom. I need to open my bible and emerse myself in His Word to find the answers I need. To find the peace that I have been seeking. It's there. I just have to receive it. 

I know I am not alone. Have you been struggling lately? How have you been handling it? I would love to hear from you.

*If you would like to join Kate Motaung and the rest of us every Friday to write unedited for five minutes or you would just like to know more about how it works follow this link: Five Minute Friday

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Falling In Love With The Simple Things.

Today was nice. 

Despite the throbbing that has been consistently happening in my head and the rush to get last minute paperwork done, it was a pretty good day. 

After dropping all the kids off at school I came home to not one but two smiling sleepy eyed boys in my bed! Randy has the week off and I honestly can't tell you how nice it has been to just do nothing! Or how it warms my heart to see Mr Waylon cuddled up to his daddy on a cold morning watching Paw Patrol. Ahh, it's the simple things I tell ya. 

We went exploring thrift stores in Denton just for the fun of it. Way had a blast and even found some treasurers along the way. After that we stopped at TSC and I seriously had to fight the urge to walk out of that place leaving all of these adorable little guys behind... 

Do you even KNOW how hard that was?!?! I mean, who in their right mind can resist adorable little duckies and chickies? I was this close to filling Randy's truck full of chirping cuteness when Waylon brought me back to reality. "Diesel can play with them like he does the squirrels Mommy!" 

Um, yeah, let's hold off on this adventure until we buy a place with a little more space for a coop and a SEPERATE space for Diesel. Mommy isn't too sure those cute little yellow things can run as fast as the squirrels and, well, last time Diesel got a squirrel to stop long enough to "play" it didn't turn out so well. 😁 No worries, crisis adverted.  (Disclaimer: No baby chicks or ducks were hurt during this temporary lapse in judgement brought on by my love for anything small and cuddly.)

We rounded up the other kids when it was time and just kind of hing out for the rest of the night. Cadens practice was cancelled due to the quick bout of rain we had so there was no real demand to be here or there at any certain time. It was very relaxing. 

I know this is the calm before the storm though. In a few weeks baseball/softball will kick off and I'll be on the run again. It was just so nice having daddy home and available for a change. Normally he is working like crazy. We are praying super hard for whatever it is that God has planned for us in the future that will make this more of a regular thing. We love it. 

God knows our needs and He knows our hearts. He will works everything out and we will be blown away at how He makes all of it come to be even better than we could have ever imagined! I just have to work on waiting patiently for it to happen!

Until then I am going to focus on the little things. The small, simple moments that make such a huge impact on all of us. I am going to capture those and hold them tight. I am going to relish in them and thank God every step of the way! 

Friday, February 13, 2015

I Miss You

hate that it has been so long since I have posted something. It's not like I don't think about it. In fact, I feel like that's my problem. I over think it. What do I write? How much do I disclose?What will my "audience" think of what I say? What if I don't portray myself as a self respectful Christian woman that I am? 

I am sure that if I were to just open my heart and spill it out before you, y'all would think I am insane. (Haha Maybe I am.) But the thing is, that's exactly what I created this blog for. Just my random thoughts and feelings. A place I can go to release the stress of the day in a way that I love. Through writing. 

Who cares if it makes sense? 
Who cares if you don't agree with what I say?
Who cares if I am not politically correct or if I say something that you don't like? 
This is MY place. This is MY thing. And I am not going to continue to avoid posting whatever I feel like posting becaue I am worried about how someone my interpret it or what they will think of me after reading a post. 

I am going to go back to the way I used to do it. Back to the Five Minute Friday style of writing. Unedited, free writing. 

Ohhhh yeah, I have missed doing this! 

I have been writing but not hitting publish. Not anymore. Hang on y'all, this might get crazy! (Haha just kidding! If anything it may not make any sense, but at least I am getting it out....right?)