Happy Halloween

Today has felt like it has been SO long!!! So much excitement and fun. This is the first time in 2 years that we went trick or treating "our" way. Every year since Katie was like 2, we all got together on Halloween with our golf carts an drove the neighborhood by where we lived. Even after we moved we still would haul the carts out there and go through the neighborhoods. It was a tradition that our kids had come to love. When we moved to Texas we sold our golf cart so we couldn't do it anymore. Tonight, thanks to uncle Jerrod and aunt Aubrey, we resumed that tradition and I must say, we had a blast!

Katie dressed up as a baby. She looked so cute in her owl slippers and pajamas with a paci she borrowed from Waylon. She had her hair in pigtails and carried a diaper bag. She was adorable.

Caden decided he wanted to be a dinosaur this year. He made a pretty cute one too. He told me I had to take a picture of him and send it to his friend Cayden Nash because he would know what kind of Dino it was. Sure enough Cayden AND his mommy knew. I would share with you what kind exactly but honestly I forgot. Haha

Waylon was a ducky. That lasted for about 5 houses and he was done. (and so was his mommy! He is a heavy little booger!) he was tired and hot from his costume and was more interested in helping daddy drive then running around like his crazy siblings. He sure did look cute though.

Colten had decided that he was not going to trick or treat this year. He said he was "too old" However, once we got there he found a bag and hit the houses with the rest of them... He wore his street clothes and surprisingly made out pretty well.

It was a fun night that was spent with family and that made me happy. I caught myself thinking about Texas and the festivities that we would be doing if we were still there though. I miss it. I miss my friends and the fun we had. I think that out of all this I have learned one very important lesson. DON'T TAKE PEOPLE FOR GRANTED!!! If I would have known that our time together was limited I would have squeezed every second I could out of those people back there! I think of all the time wasted and yearn to have that back. I think that too often we are guilty of this. We need to learn to treasure the little moments and the people that we assume will always be there with us because one day they won't and then all you will have are the what if's and should haves. :-/

Anyways, totally didn't intend for this post to go in that direction. Gotta thank the randomness of my brain. I will leave you with some pictures from tonight. Good night y'all!

"Mom, your grounded!"

Yep, I heard these exact words tonight from my oldest son! I am grounded! Haha let me explain.

We have a rule in our home for our oldest, Colten. If he doesn't make good grades and he falls below a C he gets grounded from his cell phone and other electronic devices until he brings them up. Actually, this rule goes for Katie too but she has only had 2 C's in her life so I think we are all good there. (FYI that was per her so until I can verify that for myself I will take her word for it. My memory wants to say she is correct but my memory has been known to be wrong every once in awhile.)

Ok back to my point. Colten just came off groundation for this very thing. Well tonight on our way to dinner we stop by our PO Box and check the mail. Randy runs in really quick and grabs it and once he gets back in the car he starts going through it. I was preoccupied with checking the stats for my ff (yes I am STILL in the lead) to pay attention to what he got. WELL, my college sent me a cute little letter that my amazing husband proceeds to open and read out loud.

"Dear Amber Tipton,

This letter is to notify you that your grade in the class listed below has fallen to a D!"

Oh Lord why didn't you give my husband brains enough to know he SHOULN'T out me like that??!! Do you know how HARD it is to say you must make good grades or you don't get your technology?!

First thing out of Colten's mouth was "Give me your phone mom, your grounded!!!" WHAT??? Ummm no??!! Talk about double standard! And to top it off I was caught so of guard (because I had my head stuck in my phone) that I wasn't prepared with a witty comeback or even a decent reason why that rule doesn't apply to me. I was backed into a corner, drowning helplessly and he busted out the question "Why don't you have the same rule as us mom!!??"

Yes, I did it. I did what I SWORE I would never do to my child! I used the one thing that every kid hates. "Because I said so!"

I know, I know!! It tried to take it back but the damage was done. I sounded just like my mother and grandmother! Oh the agony!!! I should have my mouth washed out or something!!! Even worse, he bought it! So low, so very very low!!

Moral of the story? Don't ground your kids for something if your gonna do the exact thing your telling them not to do!! Wanna guess who has to study EXTRA EXTRA hard to bring my grade up to at least a C? Smh!! What has this world come to??!!

P.S- Have I mentioned lately how much math sucks??!! It's ruining my life I tell ya!!! :-)

Ready for a slow down.

WoW! Things are totally crazy right now! (Yes I know I say this A LOT but it's so true!) Its a good/busy type of crazy though.

We are getting all situated in our new place, slowly but surely. Yes, there are boxes everywhere and no one can find half their stuff but it's coming along. We got the Internet hooked up today. Yesterday we got a kitchen table (thank you Craigslist!). Today I scored big time at goodwill on a dresser for Katie's room and an adorable little table and chairs for the kids to go in the computer room. Is it sad that I am so excited over my Goodwill finds and even more excited that Saturday is 50% off the entire store?! (Don't judge, I am a mom of 4 which in turn means I am cheap! Haha) As I said, things are coming together quite nicely!

I do have to admit that I am surprisingly shocked at how well my kids are adjusting to the new house. I had expected some resistance or perhaps some more rebellion due to the fact that it was yet another big change. They have been doing amazingly well. Caden has slept in his bedroom EVERY NIGHT, all night long. Katie, who had been giving us a hard time at bed time with going to sleep, has been doing great at getting to bed on time and we haven't had to move her bedtime up at all yet. I assumed that Waylon would have issues getting adjusted because it was a new place/surroundings but he is doing awesome! Sleeps all night and explores all day. Colten couldn't be more excited! He was the first one unpacked and set up. By first I mean we got the keys Friday, moved all of our stuff from storage that night then came back over Saturday to put the beds up and unpack. He had his room arranged but Saturday evening, completely! Lol crazy kid.

It feels right. It feels like we have been here forever and not just 5 days. I love that feeling. :-) I will be excited when everything slows down though. We have been going going going! Unpacking, arranging, setting up, all while going to work, school and normal life stuff. It's exhausting I tell ya! I can't wait until its all done and we can relax.

On a completely different topic, my grandma had surgery today. :-( She has been having some pain and other issues with throwing up ad stuff so they took her in and it turns out that she has stones in her bile duct. Today they did a procedure to remove them. Once they got in their they realized that it was way worse then they thought it was and they were not able to get them all. They didn't want to cause too much damage and risk infection so they will let here heal for a couple weeks and go in again.

It worries me because I am so far away. I know it's a pretty routine surgery but I wish I could be there with her. It reminds me that they are getting older and that they won't be around forever. To think about that is almost more then I can handle! I have asked for prayers via Facebook and received such a great response from so many. I really appreciate it. It brings me comfort to know that so many prayers are going up for her. I know she will be ok!

My eyes are getting heavy so I will end this crazy random all over the place post. Thanks for following long with me guys. You are greatly appreciated and much loved!!

Home Sweet Home

This very moment, exactly three months ago, I was 1000 miles away laying on a pallet in the floor with all of my belongings packed in a moving truck. I was bawling my eyes out and blogging my final goodbyes to the wonderful state of Texas. My heart was broken for what I was leaving behind and hopeful for what the future holds.

Tonight I am laying in my amazingly comfortable bed, snuggled close to my husband, with most of our belongings scattered in boxes through out our new home. Tonight my eyes are filled with tears as I blog this but it's not from sadness. My tears are because I am happy and I am thankful and I am amazed.

The last three months have been a challenge for me! I have struggled so much. I have pleaded with God, asking why he would do this to me! Why would you bring me back to here. To this place where I feel like we have hit rock bottom....again??!! What's the point? What is the lesson that you want me to learn? I had become angry and bitter and mean (mostly to my husband because unfortunately, as the one closest to me, he becomes my verbal punching bag). I honestly had given up.

So much had changed. Jobs were promised but fell through which led to my plans of being out on our own falling through. (gotta have money to do that!) I almost lost my financial aid for school due to my lack of enthusiasm and my terrible habit of procrastinating which led to bad grades and an appeal process that took FOREVER! Nothing was going the way WE had planned it to go. NOTHING.

Randy stayed positive. He drove me crazy because he refused to panic with me. He just kept pointing out the positive and saying "it could be worse!" REALLY??!! Seriously?! Ugh I am telling you this man drives me crazy. He doesn't even know how to be negative with me!! :-) Funny how that works out. I freak out he is calm. I am calm he freaks out. We just work that way. Never on the same page haha.

Anyways, he stayed calm. Took a job making significantly less then he had been making in Texas and what he was supposed to be making here. My hopes of getting out on our own and being independent again were dashed. I saw no hope. No light. Just darkness. But Randy kept saying it would all work out. HOW??!! "Who knows! But it always does so it will!" Turns out my husband knows what he is talking about every once in awhile. (If you tell him I admitted that I will deny it!!!)

Things are ok. Of course money is extremely tight but our bills are paid, we have food on the table (well once we get a table there will be food on it haha) and we are happy and healthy. What more could I ask for?

My heart isn't as broken as it was three months ago. I am slowly putting it back together. Some big chunks are still missing but I am working on it. God is working on it too and knowing that makes me smile. Although I will never know what are future holds I am comforted by the fact that He does and that it will always work out! God has proven that again and again.

The house is quiet. All the kids are sleeping comfortably in their own beds, and I am laying here relishing in the amazing feeling of being home and I am still very hopeful for what our future holds.

Faith, Friendship, Fun-Part 2

I am currently laying in a hotel room bed thinking that I was doing this exact same thing last Friday night. Only I was 1000 miles away and I was with one of my best friends and not my husband.

Anyways, back to last weekend and Women of Faith.

Ken Davis was only one of a few we listened to on Friday night. We heard awesome stories. Real true life things that have happened and how God has prevailed. I remember sitting there thinking 'This is what I need. This is what my heart has been craving!' As we left to head back to the hotel I had a lot on my mind.

Our car ride back did a good job of taking those thoughts away for awhile. I have never had so much fun or laughed so hard on a short ride like that in all of my life. Anyone who says God loving, church going women don't know how to have fun has obviously never been packed into a small SUV with 6 of them! It was a great way to wrap up the night.

Kim and I found ourselves back in our room pigging out on girl scout cookies, pop corn, beef jerky, and Dr Pepper all while watching some crazy scary movie and laughing. It was the best sleep over I have had since I was 10. There is just something about hanging out with your friends that feeds your soul and lifts your spirit. I totally needed that! I have told her that it meant so much to me but I don't think she gets just how much I truly mean it.

Saturday morning we had a great breakfast and then headed back to WOF. I was very excited for the day and for what God had in store for us.

We heard Angie Smith speak and her story was amazing and overwhelming at the same time. I admire her strength as well as anyone who has been in a similar situation. I don't think I would ever be strong enough to handle something like that and I pray I never have too. (For those of you that don't know her story, google her name)

There were other speakers as well as Selah who performed. It was AWESOME!! Although all the stories were different there was a general theme. This is what I got from it:

People are broken. Every single one of us, in some way, are broken. Whatever is going on in our lives can be fixed. It's ALL part of His plan for us. And most importantly, IT'S GOING TO BE OK!

This hit my heart like a jack hammer. For the last 3 months I have been focusing on the brokenness that has been surrounding me. I have let it eat at me and drag me down. I have succumbed to the fact that it will never be what I think it needs to be. But IT'S OKAY!! It's not supposed to be my way. It's not supposed to work out the way I have planned it to. It's not MY job to have control. I need to stop working against God and let Him take the lead. I need to pull my husband in toward me and not push him away out of anger of the situation. God has plans for our family and although it seems dark and broken now it won't be for long because He is my light! He is the master of fixing all things broken!!!

Going into this weekend I was focusing on spending some much needed girl time with my friend. I was excited about Women of Faith but never expected to get so much out of it! I never thought about how it would impact my life. But it did. It really truly did.

After WOF ended we headed back to Kim's house for a yummy fajita dinner. Those thoughts I had been trying to push to the back of my mind were creeping slowly up. It was getting harder to ignore the fact that my time with my friend and her family, people who have become an extended part of my own family, was coming to a end. As I was making sure I had everything and that it was all ready to go when I felt the dread of saying goodbye start to fill my heart. I hate goodbyes.

The ride to the airport was way to fast and before I knew it we were at the curb where I had to get out. My brain was screaming, "Get out and go quickly! DON'T CRY AMBER!" I quickly hugged Kim and got out. I had to open the back door to hug Kennedy and tell her goodbye. "Stay strong for her Amber! You have to stay strong!!" I didn't dare look back. I think I barely made it inside to the escalator before the tears came. I am sure the people at DFW thought I was a crazy woman as I checked in and got my boarding pass. I made my way to the bathroom to compose myself, with little luck. I finally found my gate and found a corner to hide in so I could be sort of away from the crowd.

My heart hurt. Everything inside me wanted to grab my bags and run back to Kim's car. I reminded myself several times "There is a plan! God knows what he is doing. Oh God help. I can't breathe! This is home. This is where we belong. Why is this happening?!"
I was angry. At Randy. At myself. At God. I couldn't see the plan. I STILL don't see the plan. But I have faith that somewhere in all of this mess there is going to be something good. Something that only God could create. There will be lessons learned and I will be a better person because of it. I have to remind myself of this several times a day. I still doubt. I am human and I am flawed but that doesn't matter. What is important is that I have that faith. I KNOW God has great things planned for our life. I will probably always struggle with this but amazingly our God is a patient God and He will help me through whatever is ahead of us.

Faith, Friendship, and Fun

This exact time one week ago I was on my way to the airport. I was so excited I couldn't think straight. I was on my way to Texas. Home! Oh my heart was overflowing with joy! Kim had an exciting weekend planned out for us with most of our time being spent at Women of Faith. I was most excited for the anticipated girl time that I knew was in store. Oh how I had missed my friend. What I got was something I never seen coming.

My plane landed in DFW at 4:50am on Friday morning. I was greeted by two of the most beautiful faces I have ever seen. They both had smiles from ear to ear and I literally felt my heart overflow with love for these two. Oh how I had missed their faces!! Hugs were passed out and then we headed to the car and when I stepped outside I caught the sweet smell of that amazing Texas air! Oh my goodness, I can't find words to describe how awesome that was.

On the way to Kims house I kept feeling these pangs of.... Ugh what's the word I am looking for?... Sadness? Sorrow? Longing. Yeah perhaps that's it. Longing. My heart kept screaming this is home!!! While my mind reminded me that it would be short lived.

Once we arrived at Kim's house I was greeted by her husband Mark who said, in a typical Mark fashion, "Uggg I have to see YOU before I go to work?!" haha He is such a nerd and I would expect nothing less from him. Once Kim snapped her fingers (haha inside joke!) and told him to go to work he left us in peace. We were all exhausted and decided to take a little nap.

3 hours later we got up and did what any normal girls would do. We got dressed and went to find us some grub! And oh boy did we ever! We went to Babes. I lived in Texas for 2 and a half years and I had never eaten there. Boy was I missing out!!! I was miserable by the time we finished.

We headed home so Kim could gather her stuff for our over night trip and then we headed to pick up Cayden from school. Kim went in and got him and when he came out and saw me he started giggling. His laugh warmed my heart. I really did miss that crazy little boy.

We headed off to the salon to get our nails done and while I was waiting for my turn I got to have an awesome conversation with Cayden! This kid has talent when it comes to making me feel less then adequate then it comes to thinking on his level. Many will assume that it's because he is only 6 and it  is hard to get on a level with a 6 yr old but it's the exact opposite. Cayden has a way of making you feel like your, for the lack of a better word, an idiot. Lol he is super smart and very witty! This is sort of off topic of where I want this post to go and I know it's gonna make me look stupid but I must share it to make my point. Here is just one of many of our conversations from that day:

Cayden says: "I went to the doctor and got a shot!"
Me: "Ouch!"
Him: "Yeah, I can climb walls! I just climb right up them like spider man."
Me: "Wow! Thats pretty cool. That shot must have given you a special power to be able to do that."
Him: (looking at me like I am an idiot) "NO! The shot was so I didn't get the flu!!" (DUH) Followed by a look of "REALLY??!!"

That was just one example of my time with Cayden. There is another incident that has to do with a 'fedora' but I'll leave that alone for now. (gotta save some of my dignity!)

While I was getting my nails done Kim took the kids home to Mark and when she came back we headed to find our hotel in Dallas. We were staying at the Hilton and it was so pretty! Once we got all checked in and freshened up we went down stairs to catch the shuttle over to American Airlines center for the first night of WOF. The shuttle ride was.... Eventful. Let's just say I am thankful to have gotten there in one piece.

Anyways, we got there and for checked in and found our seats. I was so excited!!! I had never been to a WOF event before and I didn't l ow what to expect. Cece Winans was there and did an amazing job. I love her songs and her voice is so powerful. Great worship part of the service.

Ken Davis was also there that night. His story was heartfelt, funny, uplifting, and just plain amazing! He is actually my favorite of the whole weekend. He made me laugh and cry and laugh again. Amazing man with an amazing story and he really touched my heart.

**** I need to stop here because my phone is going to die and my eyes are burning but I will pick this up tomorrow. Trust me, you will want to hear the second half. :-)

Remembering

Today is the 11th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.

Today is a day that our country mourns the loss of 2977 men and women.

Today is the day that we send up extra prayers for the family's and loved ones that lost someone on that horrific day.

Today is a day for remembrance.

I remember that day very clearly as I am sure most people do. I was 17 years old. We were living with mom and dad in Mesa. Randy, Colten, and I were sleeping. I remember mom coming in an waking us up. She said we had to come look! I think it was the tone of her voice that had me jumping out of bed. It was a mixture of disbelief and panic. It take a lot to get mom worked up like that so immediately I was worried.

We gather around the tv and watch the reports come in. I don't think it really hit me what was going on or how bad it was until I saw the second plane hit! That's when the knots in my stomach tightened and I started feeling sick.

What IS going on?? Why is this happening!! It's not just an accident because that type of thing doesn't happen twice! Oh God what is going to happen now?

I remember just sitting there watching tv and waiting for someone to say "It's going to be ok!"

I remember feeling so sad for all those people that were there and for their families. I couldn't even imagine having someone I know and loved in those buildings and not knowing if they were ok.

When the first tower fell I cried. I felt sad but I also felt scared! SO very scared. What did all of this mean for us? I mean you see stuff like this happen in other countries and you don't really give a whole lot of thought to it. But THIS was here. This was close!! What would happen to four country now? The land of the free just became the land of the terrorized.

In the days following we saw a lot of unity. People coming forward to help strangers. People comforting other people. We were a country that had just taken a huge blow and we pulled together in support of each other. For a while the small everyday things didn't matter. We let the little stuff go. Our everyday gripes didn't seem very significant anymore.

We had UNITY!
We had COMPASSION.

Today as I was watching a news segment and one of the reporters pointed that very thing out. He said that every year on this anniversary you see it again. People coming together and showing support. People doing kind things just because. You see that unity. He also made a powerful suggestion that made me think. "If we treated each other like this the other 364 days a year this world would be a better place."

That is SO very true!!! Why is it that we can come together as a nation when things are tough but not in everyday life? Why is it that we can be caring and supportive only on a day that forces is to remember a horrible time for us? If we were like that all the time or even just half of the time this world would be a WAY better place to love in don't you think?

What's my point? I am not sure really. I just felt like putting this out there. I felt like the news reporter hit the nail on the head with what he said and it made me feel guilty for whining and complaining about stupid insignificant stuff on a daily basis when in reality it could be so much worse. It made me feel like I want to try to do my part to be that kind, caring, supportive, unselfish person more then just a couple times a year!

How did it make you feel? Do my words make sense or is it just a bunch of rambling thoughts? I would love to hear feedback. Even if it's just to tell me that you think I am crazy! :-)