Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Trust in Your Husband

As most of you know we just made a huge change. You may also know that I do horrible with change. I do even worse with not knowing exactly what's going on an how it's going to be. I must have a plan and a list (or 4). I like it when everything is nice and neat an mapped out with backup plans and such.

With this move it was anything like that! In fact it was the polar opposite of that! It was everything I didn't want and then some. Let me explain a little.

My husband worked for a big equipment rental company. That company recently merged (or as most of the employees of the original company like to refer to it as a hostile take over) with a bigger equipment company. As expected, changes were made and some of them were not very good.

Randy prayed about it quite a bit over a few months while he was letting things play out. Things got worse and in the end they decided to demote him from field service mechanic to a shop mechanic. That was sort of the breaking straw.

He came to me and said he was going to put his two weeks in and that it was finally time to move back home! I was floored. NO!!!! How will we live? How will we pay our bills? What about insurance? We do have 4 kids ya know!!!! NO, NO, NO!!!!!!

He reminded me that we had been yearning to go home for a long time and that this was our chance. He was right. We had been up and down for a long time. One day wanting to go back and the next feeling content. He also told me that he had been praying pretty hard and that God told him that it was time and that it would all work out!

BUT WHAT ABOUT A JOB??!! How are you gonna walk away from making twenty something dollars an hour?? Who does that!!??

****Insert a panicking Amber!****

So I did the only thing I knew to do. I prayed hard. Really hard. I didn't like the answer I got! After praying for a couple weeks I kept getting the same answer. "Trust in your husband to do whats right for your family!"

REALLY??!!!?? Seriously God?!

Every bible verse I read, every time I would pray, even a sermon at church said exactly that. Trust in your husband!!

Ok so you want me to let go..... COMPLETELY.... And follow my husband and trust that he is doing what he feels is right and what God is leading him to do?!

That was NOT an easy thing to do!! At all!! It's totally not me! Totally not how I would do it. But what choice did I have?

Randy put some phone calls in and lined up some work. We were expecting a huge pay cut because the Arizona economy I not booming like the Texas economy is. Fortunately he had 3 different jobs he could choose from. One was almost too good to be true but we had decided to go with it. I had some anxiety but like I said, what can you do.

On the last day of employment another job offer came in. He was set up for an interview just a few days after we arrived home but neither of us were very confident about it.

Well we got here and the job we were banking on fell through. Talk about stressing out! But Randy stayed calm and confident. He went to his interview and said that it went good but didn't seem overly excited. He was just calm and cool about it. He had to remind me quite a few times that this was the right choice and that it was all going to be ok.

Meanwhile he still had to work so he took one of the jobs that wasn't ideal and didn't pay much but at least it was something.

I worried and stressed all weekend over what was going to happen. How were we going to make ends meet and pay our bills? Ugh!! I questioned God and prayed hard but it was the same thing as before. Trust in your husband. Yes Lord! I get it!!

Well I am happy to report that my husband actually knew what he was talking about! Yesterday I received a text message from him saying that he received a job offer from the company he had the interview. They offered him an amount that neither of us were expecting and benefits!!!! He is making only a little less then he was when he left his job in Texas AND, ironically, he is doing what he would have been doing there. He will have the chance to get some awesome training and move up!

It's all God! He laid it on my husbands heart that it was time for change. He led Randy in the direction that he needed to go and He has provided for us in a way that neither of us could have even imagined.

I am not sure why I struggle so much with letting go of control. I need to work on trusting others to take care of things and letting go of my OCD tendencies. This is something that God is working on with me.

I am not sure what our future holds or what God has in store for us but I am excited about it. I am also very proud of my husband and thankful that he was strong enough to follow Gods voice and lead his family in the right direction. He has had to make some difficult decisions and he has had to deal with all of our anxiety, second guessing and emotions through all of this. I know its harder on him then he lets show. I am thankful that he held on to his faith and I hope to learn to become strong like that someday.

Thank you all for your prayers for us. We are totally feeling them. And thanks for following me on this crazy journey that is our life. Until next time.....

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