Sunday, August 25, 2013

Mommy Meltdown

In just a few short hours I will be waking the kids up to get ready for their first day of school. There will be whining because they don't want to wake up and I am sure that at least one of them will refuse to eat breakfast. Katie and I will most definitely argue over her outfit because I know even though we spent an hour picking out the perfect look tonight she will change her mind by morning. There will be a mix or nervousness and excitement and happiness over the new. And as happy I am for them I am even more sad. 

There I said it! I am sad that tomorrow will be here so soon. Yes, I have on several occasions asked "how long before school starts?" this summer but now that its here I find myself truly sad. 

Maybe it's because my little cowboy is starting Kindergarten! Or that Buggy is actually going to be a 5th grader. I am almost positive that Colten starting his freshman yeah of high school has something to do with it!! 

The reality of all of that just hit me and here I am bawling my eyes out as I type this. I am sure I will get over it but I find myself thinking about something I have heard many many times in the past. "Enjoy them now because soon they will be all grown up and you will miss it."

Ohh how true is this statement?!?! I mean I still have many years of the crazy chaos of young kids and I am already freakish out. Seriously though, where has the time gone? Where did the days of watching PB&J (who remembers this cartoon) and teaching Colten is ABC's go? I could swear this was just a few months ago. And all of a sudden here he is entering the crazy world of High School. Starting this new adventure, new chapter, of his life. In just 4 short years he will be off to college and out into the world and he won't need me anymore! Ugh!!! Such a horrible thought! 

And Katie is SO darn independent already that it isn't even funny! The other day she was mouthing off, being typical Katie, and I wanted to beat her but instead I grabbed her and gave her a hug. I realized then that she is getting too big. How long has it been since I have held her close and cuddled her like I do Waylon? It's so much more complicated when they get older and they are too "cool" to love on their Mommas! Later that day we were watching a movie and I was laying on the couch. She came and laid next to me and fell asleep. I didn't want to move. I just wanted to relish in the moment and remember back to when this was not such a big deal. 

Caden is the same way just not as bad... yet! I can still steal snuggle time from him occasionally and he isn't too shy about giving me hugs or kisses. I pray that doesn't go away too soon. 

I am not sure what my point is for this post. I know it's nonsense but with all the emotion I have swirling inside me right now I had to get it out. The theme for today has been "Making Memories". It's been everywhere from church to FB to music I have listened to today. Maybe it's Gods way of telling me that even though I feel like my lovelies are growing up to fast and that I am losing them that it's not really the case. I have many many memories that we have made with them and many many many more to come and that I need to focus on that instead of what I feel like I am losing. 

Easier said then done huh?! 

Well I guess I am gonna just have to "suck it up buttercup" and deal with it. I know that great things lie ahead for all of my children and I am excited for them! For the plan God has for their lives. I just gotta learn how to let go a little and know that they are not going to stay little forever no matter how much I want them to. 

Ill work on it. 

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