Wednesday, August 20, 2014

My Struggle, His Victory

It's been one of those days!!

You know those days where getting up and going to work at an actual 9-5 job looks like heaven! 

Ugh! I loath days like today!!

Don't get me wrong. I love my children. I love being able to stay at home with them and watch them grow. I love being the one that the come to when they want to build a fort using every blanket I just washed and all the cushions from the couch, which reminds me that I need to vacuum all the junk that's hiding in there. I love playing cars with the boys or painting nails with my girl. I love being the one that kisses their owies and makes it all better. But as most of you stay at home moms know our job is anything but easy!!

My wonderful, but verbally challenged husband, asked the no-no question tonight. That one question that gets us all worked up! "What did you do all day!"


I don't know why but this question always bothers me! Granted, my house needs to be picked up and the floors are in desperate need to moping but seriously! Do you actually think I just hang out and party all day?! I wish!!! 

My day consists of coffee, lots of coffee (because none of us would make it through with out it), cooking, picking up toys, baths, chasing kids, refereeing fights, running errands, running kids everywhere, time outs, screaming kids (and mommy too), church..... It's never ending!  During the school year we have baseball/softball practice, homework (or better known as battle of willpower that usually ends in tears) and all the fun activities that come with school. This year I am SO lucky (yes that is sarcasm you are detecting) to have a child in every rank of school there is. High School for Colten, Katie is starting Middle school, Caden is left in Elementary and Waylon wil be home with me doing Pre-K. You name it, I probably do it.

Yes, there are days that I say forget it all and NOTHING gets done. Lately that seems to be happening more and more. I don't have the energy and sometimes I just don't care. I think I am in a slump and I think satan is trying his hardest to keep me there. I think he is testing my relationships, with God as well as those closest to me, to try to take away everything good and make me feel like I have nothing or no one to turn to. Well I have news! I am a fighter and it may take me a minute or two to figure out what is going on but now that I have you can bet that I am not just going to allow myself to just succumb to the dark sad world of feeling overwhelmed and defeated. I will not!

A couple of weeks ago a friend told mine to read the book of Ephesians, really dig into it and read it. I am so thankful that I didn't just blow it off like I have been doing with everything else lately. I have gotten so much from just jumping in and reading, especially when I didn't want to. Probably the verses that hit me that hardest are Ephesians 5:8-13:

 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.

So I will do as it says and I will live as a child of light. I will love this place and time that God has for my life and I will do so with out questioning His plan His timing for my life. I will try harder at having faith in what I believe and not letting doubts creep in. Most importantly, when I feel like life is pulling me under I will reach out and ask for help and seek answers from my Bible because when all else fails God is one thing I can always count on!


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