Friday, March 21, 2014

I Want My Joy Back

It has been quite sometime since I have sat down and pounded out words for this little space of mine. Too long. I miss it. I miss the release I get from just letting mindless, probably mostly nonsense, thoughts flow from my mind to the keyboard in front of me. I get great joy from writing but it is something I rarely do anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I still journal. I will always journal. Even if it is just a sentence of two that only makes sense to me. It is something I have done since I was a kid and will most likely be something I will do forever. Ha, it's more for my own sanity than anything else. You see I am not capable of keeping all that crap in my head for very long and MUST get it out or I swear my head will explode. But, like I said, writing is different than journaling. (is that a real word?)

Writing makes me happy. Sharing fun stories of my family or triumphs over recent tribulations or the way a song makes me feel brings me joy. Unfortunately, like many other things lately, it seems like I just don't take the time to do it.

Why you ask? Good question! So good that I don't even have the answer for it.

Why does it seem that life gets so complicated, so stressful and overwhelming, that we fail to make time to do the things that bring us joy? Since when did it become normal to overlook the little things that truly matter? Since when did the normal start consisting of mom yelling and having no patience whatsoever instead of taking the time to relish in the lives of her children?

Since when did I become this negative, totally stressed out, unhappy, and sometimes emotionally unstable person that has pushed herself to the brink??? And for what? What is the point of it? Is this really the mom I want my kids to remember 10 years from now? No!! It really is not! It wont be!

 I am going to find my joy again. I am proclaiming it right here and now! I am going to bring it back and I am not going to let it go! I am not sure how but God will show me the way. This is one thing I do know.

***Every week a lovely group of ladies get together and write unedited for five minutes on a given topic. To join in, hop on over to Lisa-Jo Baker's website and check out more info on Five Minute Friday.***


  1. Amber! I'm dropping by from Five Minute Friday. I'm glad you joined the party tonight and took the time to write! (You go, girl!) (I know, that's not cool.) Thanks for reminding me that we can choose…and for also reminding me that we are not left to follow-through on our own. He never leaves us (even in a pit).

  2. Oh, I hear you! Why is it that doing the things we love seem to get passed over for the things that take less effort? Writing brings me great joy too, but often falls on the wayside to more mindless pursuits or just sheer fatigue. Popping over from FMF. God bless!

  3. Claim your joy sister! I can relate to every word you wrote. Keep it up, don't be too hard on yourself, and claim your joy every day. God has you and absolutely delights in seeing your joy.