Tuesday, July 16, 2013


I have a lot on my mind tonight and since my awesome husband passed out and left me talking to myself in the dark I figured this is the next best way to get it all out.**

A lot of stuff has been hitting on my heart lately. Stuff that I read or hear or see. Stuff that I know is not coming my way by coincidence. Nothing is ever a coincidence when God is at work! 

I know a lot of you have noticed a change in me. Some have made comments or asked questions. Some have blown it off or simply don't pay it much mind. And some of you expect it of me because you really know me. You know my story. 

For those of you that don't know let me give you a run down.... 

In April of 2010 Randy and I asked God back into our lives. We were broken and fragile and we had no other place to turn. All we had left was the shattered prices of our marriage and our mutual love for our children. We had been running from God and living in the world of sin for years and it had finally all caught up with us. One night during a heated argument I finally told Randy I was done. I could no longer keep going as we were. I was numb. So completely numb! 

That's a sad feeling you know. To be so lost and so messed up that you literally are incapable of feeling nothing!! 

It was that very feeling that had me looking for a way out. A way to pull myself up and out of this horrible life that was full of bad mistakes, angry words, hate, jealousy, revenge and sin. The only way I knew to so that was cut ties and move on. Start over. 

My initial plan didn't include God. It was only about me and how I knew I could be strong enough to do it on my own. I had faith in myself to be able to do this. It wasn't until my husband came to me and begged me  to try just one more time. To give US just one more chance. But this time instead of putting our faith in each other we would put it in God. We would allow Him to have full control of every aspect of our lives and if that didn't work, if that didn't make it better then he would give me the divorce that I wanted. But only after we honestly tried to do it Gods way first. 

That agreement, that promise, is what saved my marriage. Saved my life really. We did just what we vowed to do and we laid our whole ugly mess at Gods feet and asked him to fix what we had so badly broken. And He did! 

Within two months we were moved to another state, thriving on so little, and praising Him the whole way. We have had many up's and downs and veered of our path along the way. We have faced so much in the last 3 years and although it was very unstable at times we always made it through. 

We are in a very good spot right now. I thank God everyday for His grace and mercy that He has for us. I feel like He has planted us right where He wants us to be right now and He is working on surrounding us with people and things that will help us grow in Him. He has given us the tools to make this life the best that we can in a way that will honor and glorify Him and that is exactly what we intend to do.

Thank you to everyone who has acknowledged this change that our family has made and for supporting us in our journey. We are so glad to have such an amazing support system of friend and family. I don't know what I would do with out y'all!

**This post was originally started on Saturday night.

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