I Need To Write

As I sit here, ignoring all my other responsibilities for the moment, consumed with making the vision in my head of how this blog is supposed to look come to life one thing keeps slamming into my head. 

You need to write.

I ignore it, as I have for the last 5 months, but it's more consistent these last few days. 

You need to write. 

So many excuses fill my mind. Too busy. The kids are screaming. I can't think. I am thinking too much. I am tired. No one really cares what you have to say!

You need to write. 

 I know! Trust me I know. But I can't. 

No, really, I can't. 

When I start it all just comes out as a huge jumbled mess and it's going in 15 different ways and it doesn't make any sense whatsoever. So what's the point? 

Last night I finally figured out what the point was. I had logged on to admire the work that my awesome, very talented, and a little geeky but very loved friend did on here and some how ended up reading some of my past posts and a lot of the drafts that have been started but discarded sometime in the last 5 months.

 WOW!! Let's talk about emotion! Those words on the screen, my words, so raw and real, just left abandoned. 

I need to write!

 I need that release that I get from writing all of it down. I miss that and I miss sharing it with anyone who cares enough to read it. I love going back and reading my words and feeling exactly how I felt at that exact moment! I love seeing the growth in myself from month to month and year to year. I love the memories! But most importantly I miss knowing that, should the day come that I am no longer here, my children will have documentation of who I really was.

So because of all of that.... I am going to write!